And then I fell

Haven't updated in awhile

2009-11-05T15:48:50Z

Apparently UCF is killing me ... I think there's something in the water.

First I had a severe sinus infection where I was coughing up blood.

And now I have Fifth Disease. WTF. Oh, hey, what's up? I'm 20-years-old, don't associate with children or anyone that has a child, and I've caught a highly contagious childhood illness that is extremely rare for people to catch past the age of 15. Awesome. The bad thing with catching it at my age is that I not only have the lace-like rash, but I also have EXTREME joint discomfort (I can barely move my left hand), which could develop into permanent arthritis. And apparently if I come into contact with a woman in their first trimester of pregnancy, I can kill their baby. ONLY ME.

Anyway, on to the not dying news:
· I was almost back to the weight i'd been pre-Chicago, only two pounds away! But I haven't been able to exercise because it might aggravate my condition, so that's down the tube.
· I have an A in three of my classes, and there's pretty much no way I can pull off an A in the last one, so here's hoping for a B or B+!
· Yeah, that's pretty much it. Depressing.

Update!

2009-09-09T14:10:59Z

School is good, I've made a few friends, and classes are ridiculously easy. I got my scholarship check ~ $500 (they were supposed to deduct $150 for tuition and didn't, i'm not complaining)! And I joined an honor society which gives monthly scholarship opportunities, so i'm going to jump on top of that as soon as possible.

I learned how to ride a bike! Finally! I returned the Trike my dad bought me, and brought up the bike he bought me when I was in the 9th or 10th grade, it's really smooth and handles well ... I figure in about a week or two or three, i'll be comfortable enough to take it out on the main roads to get to and from school. I keep getting blisters on my hands because i'm still really tense with fear. I learned how to turn the bike without falling over today. :)

Janice and I have date night each Wednesday, we're pretty much just going to watch a movie each week and maybe eat out or cook for each other.

I've lost about 7 pounds since I've been up here, and that's pretty much because I make soup constantly, and because I drink 3 smoothies on average per week.

And the 18th-20th i'll be in Coral Springs, on the 18th i'll be shadowing Mrs. Read at Coral Glades the entire day, yay intro to education.

brightnight @ 2009-06-28T20:59:00

2009-06-29T01:04:06Z

I am a carnivore. I'm not proud of being broken, but this was my first stint as a sort of vegetarian. I find just under 7 months impressive. I still feel that there are certain foods I refuse to eat, and the meat I do eat will be in moderation.

Aaaaannnnd, I'll be in Orlando by August 1st. :D

brightnight @ 2009-03-07T11:58:00

2009-03-07T17:10:40Z

So, I sort of kicked my plateau in the face this week. I lost 8.4 pounds in seven days, and I'm only .6 lbs away from reaching my 10% target. FINALLY. I've been a pescetarian for about a month now, I started exercising daily again, and I stopped eating past 7:00/7:30 pm. These changes are a bit drastic, and at the meeting they said what I'm doing isn't for everyone, because not everyone has such a strong willpower.

I'm leaving for Mississippi Wednesday night for the Southeastern Regional Orientation Workshops (SROW) with the rest of the North Campus Ambassadors, so i'm going to the Tuesday morning Weight Watchers. I'll hopefully earn my 10% keyring, and another 5lb loss star that day. But yeah, haven't been this skinny since late 11th grade, around the time of my back injury. I'm also officially in a smaller size pant and shirt, but i'm not 100% comfortable yet. Maybe when I lose five more pounds.

Rantrantrant

2009-02-23T06:35:59Z

I think I have senioritis. I'm managing to maintain my grades through sheer dumb luck, and the barest minimum of effort. Really, I think I'd be failing my World Religions class if he ever graded the work, because I never manage to turn it in on time. I probably am failing. The man grades on a goddamn check+++ system in college, what the fucking hell. And I'm pulling stupid shit that I haven't done since high school, like late nighters and making myself sick because I'm stressed. I don't want to have worked this hard, and come this far, to reach my downfall.

I can't remember the last time I exercised, and that totally shows if you look at my weight watchers book. I've been yo-yoing, and even though my diet is 95% on track, I just can't manage to exercise. I'm in a rut, and I just keep sinking deeper. I have felt so much more amazing since becoming a pescetarian, but that isn't enough. My goal when I started weight watchers was to be 50 lbs lighter by graduation, but I just don't see that happening healthily now. I think I'm also sick with myself because I was 2 lbs away from having a loss of 20 pounds about 8 weeks ago ... and as of Saturday I'm 2.4 lbs away from having that same loss. A more realistic goal is to lose those remaining pounds, and then by graduation hopefully have lost 10-15 more.

You'd think that getting accepted into UCF would've lifted my spirits, but it actually looks like I'm worse than I was before. I know that I can't keep this up when I'm up there because it will kill me.

I know that all of my issues are tied together, I just don't know how to break the cycle. I think a good slap in the face would do me wonders.

OMFGOMFG

2009-02-10T14:34:43Z

Congratulations! You have been offered admission to UCF for the Fall 2009 term. Your acceptance is contingent upon earning an Associate of Arts degree from a Florida public community college or earning 60 transferable semester hours of credit with at least a 2.5 gpa from the last institution attended, as well as overall, two college level courses in both math and english with a grade of 'C' or better in each and successful completion of two consecutive years of the same foreign language in high school or eight semester hours of the same foreign language in college.
You may now register for orientation at http://www.orientation.sdes.ucf.edu
We look forward to you joining us at UCF!

Your current admissions status is unofficial. Your official admission decision will be sent and confirmed in writing via a letter from the Director of Undergraduate Admissions.

I NEVER would have checked back because they crushed my soul a long time ago, but I did because Rebecca got into Rollins and I figured some of the good luck would rub off.

I am so happy and relieved that i'm crying.

brightnight @ 2009-02-06T16:16:00

2009-02-06T21:39:40Z

So, a few things happened at work today:
· I cut myself carrying a box of tomatoes. Yeah, WTF. It actually won't stop bleeding which is sort of scary.
· I earned myself more hours for next week (oh yeah!).
· I attempted to learn the cash register and failed miserably, but I can do it if someone stands over my shoulder and corrects my mistakes. :D
· One of the girls was saying that I could make any guy happy (in reference to my hips and ass), to which I said, "I already make my girlfriend happy." and they were all like, "WHAT?!?!" Yay for coming out at work.
· And, i've been getting really, really sick of all the bacon that people want on their subs. They're essentially eating fat, and you can see the fat oozing when it comes out of the toaster. Yuck. One of my friends gave me this book, Skinny Bitch, to read ... and, I'm not sure if i'm going to be a vegetarian ... but i'm definitely going to cut my meat intake, and the meat I do eat is going to be sparse and organic, and white. Red meat is going to be a treat, and that is also going to be organic. I don't know ... this book is just a big eye-opener.

Other updates:
· I have officially been deferred from USF, as well as UCF. I'm getting pretty pissed, since the only reason they defer me is because my A.A. degree isn't confirmed. At first I thought it was just UCF having an issue with me, but I guess not. So I have to wait until after I graduate, which means i'll find out in late May-early July. This blows so much it isn't even funny.
· I've hit a plateau with my weight loss, and I know it's because I haven't been exercising like I used to. I used to do 30-40 minutes of cardio alone per day, with weight training every other day. And now I only work out in my health course, which is pretty depressing. This whole thing started when school did, so I need to find a way around school, work, and weight watchers. Maybe my pseudo-vegetarianism will help.
· Janice and I had our two-year anniversary on January 18th, and in February we're going to do our annual Ren-Fest anniversary fun.

Mmmm ... toasty?

2009-01-14T04:21:20Z

I HAVE A JOB, ^_^!!!!

At Quiznos Subs. Today was training, and I wasn't overwhelmed, it was awesome. Thursday I really work, from 4:00-closing. Yay for my first job ever. :P

Stolen from Janice, Rebecca, and Nicole

2009-01-08T12:44:03Z

01. name:
02. birthday:
03. place of residence:
04. what makes you happy:
05. what are you listening to now/have listened to last:
06. do you read my lj:
07. if you do, what is particularly good/bad about it:
08. an interesting fact about you:
09. are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. favourite place to be:
11. favourite lyric:
12. best time of the year:
13: post the most recent picture of yourself:

RECOMMEND
01. a film:
02. a book:
03. a band, a song and an album:

PLUS
01. one thing you like about me:
02. two things you like about yourself:
03. put this in your lj so i can tell you what i think of you

brightnight @ 2009-01-05T00:04:00

2009-01-05T05:13:31Z

I decided to make Janice dinner! Because I needed to practice my domesticity and she gets angry when Rebecca is my guinea pig. Aaand, because I love her.

I made apple juice marinated chicken with shitake mushrooms, Janice’s awesome rice (which she made), and a roasted fennel and carrot salad (courtesy of weight watchers). Then my mom made a peach-apple-orange tart which we had with ice cream.

And at some point during the night I horrifically scarred myself.

Although it is kind of cool how it's in the shape of a check mark. Hopefully i'll heal well!

brightnight @ 2008-12-16T10:17:00

2008-12-16T15:26:40Z

Straight A's! I demolished both my history finals (116/100 in AMH, and 78/80 in EUH). Now I have a 3.88, and I finally made it on the President's List. Unfortunately, I won't be able to be on the Dean's or President's list next semester as I only have 8 credits. I'm sending out my transcript to UCF now that it's updated in the hopes that the jerks won't wait until my A.A. is confirmed before accepting me. Because I think that is still ridiculous. And I need to complete my new FAFSA so I can get my money. >.<

In other news: dear god, Christmas and anniversary shopping. o.o

Updates

2008-06-07T17:51:11Z

· Summer courses are great (I think my Geography teacher wants to make love to my brain). If I get straight A's, my mom says she'll buy me a PS2. Sweet. But now I have to talk to my dad. Haha, fun.
· Unfortunately, my attempts at beating "The Man" never work out, so it looks like I'll be at BCC (or should I say BC?) until the end of next May.
· I am happy that in two semesters I completed 32 credit hours, and am working on another 9. But one of those classes seems pointless now, and that is ASL I. You see, I never took ASL II because they never offered it at a sane time. And now it turns out that as a history major, ASL is not accepted. So I have to take a spoken language. Which I'm horrible at. I'm going to fail it miserably and my shiny GPA that makes me all giggly inside is going to plummet.
· I really want to leave Coral Springs 'cause I feel downtrodden here. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels positively suffocated, but I think because I'm fairly unstable now, it affects me more. Or maybe it seems like it affects me more. God, I'm crazy.
· Janice and I are great. 1 year and 5 months on the 18th. In July it'll be my longest relationship ever, so I want to commemorate that with something special. Like a puppy, but I can't do that ... I'll figure something out.
· I'm still irrationally terrified of the deep end of the pool, unless someone is swimming with me, or outside with me. Hey, I don't know either.
· Marvin was scaring the bejesus out of me. She wasn't coming out of her hut, or eating, and she wasn't visible for about 4 days. Then I walk into the room, and she's crawling all over the cage and eating the lettuce I put out as a treat (which she also hadn't been doing). Freaking rodents.
· I'm not going to Minnesota and Illinois like I had planned, so I'm attempting to start looking for a job. Now that I'm done with math courses for the rest of my life, I feel like I can work, since that's where most of my stress had come from.

brightnight @ 2008-05-24T22:12:00

2008-05-25T03:05:45Z

I was out last night, and this chick had a baby rat ... well, she didn't want it, so she was going to feed it to her snake. Yeah, fuck that.

So, my new baby rat's name is Marvin, and it's a girl (Mat named her). She's albino, not sure on her age, I think 5-6 weeks. Really sweet, very friendly, does all her business in one corner (not used to that).

Annnd, yeah. Yay rodents!

Semester Grades, take 2

2008-05-07T18:19:35Z

ART 2750-C: A
ENC 1101: A
GLY 1010: A
GLY 1010-L: A
STA 2023: B
SYG 2000: A

So ... 3.81 again, made the Dean's List. I guess trying to get straight A's with a math class in the mix is impossible for me. But perhaps i'll get them from now on, since this was my final math course.

brightnight @ 2008-04-24T06:38:00

2008-04-24T10:47:22Z

So, it's been a month.

· Yesterday was my Birthday! I'm nineteen, last year of teenager-hood. o.O I feel SO freaking OLD. Janice bought my some medieval soldiers, a how-to make sock monsters book, and some pretty sweet colored pencils. Mat bought me Juno, and then wrapped it in an entire roll of duct tape, which took about 20 minutes to get off. We all went out to sushi with my folks, 'cause dammit we're awesome.
· Grades are pretty swell, I have my first final today in my Geology Lab. It's possible I may get straight A's, it all depends on my damn Statistics class.
· In ceramics, I have 26 pieces that need to be bisque fired, then glaze fired ... and I have another six that are waiting to be glaze fired. And class is over Tuesday. Crap.

brightnight @ 2008-03-22T12:08:00

2008-03-22T16:36:07Z

Mmk, update:

· I went to my jaw doctor last Friday. My jaw is going into recession, so I was prescribed an anti-inflammatory and a night guard. The medicine is working WONDERS, but I haven't been fitted for the night guard yet ... we'll see how it goes.
· I've been getting rather crafty lately. I'll post some pictures when all my projects are finished.
· Ceramics is a lot better than when I first started. I now spend 12 hours or more a week working there, pictures will be up once my pieces get glaze fired. I'm going to be sad when I can't do it anymore.
· I'm angry with school because my test grades don't improve. They're all high A's, but I want a goddamn perfect just once in my life.
· Janice and I are more than wonderful, the 18th was 1 year and 2 months.
· I can't wait until next May when I leave. Oh, I worked out my schedule, by the way:

Summer 08: 9 credits (Am. Hist. 1, World Geography, Computers)
Fall 08: 12/13 credits (Am. Hist. 2, Euro. Hist. 1, English 2, ASL 2 or 20th Cent. World)
Spring 09: 8 credits (Euro. Hist. 2, Health, Art Hist. 1)

· The plan is that I can work while doing this course load. Hopefully.
· And i'll be moving in with my two best guy friends, hopefully some estrogen will come too.

brightnight @ 2008-03-10T22:36:00

2008-03-11T02:40:04Z

Just went to give Auggie fresh food, and he was dead. Must've died while I was at school today, because I saw him running around yesterday. He outlived his brother by just about 6 months.

No more small mammals because I get too fucking attached.

Haha, it's been awhile.

2008-03-10T11:31:59Z

I hate college. This is due to poor advisers who can suck it.

I overloaded myself last semester and this semester (16 credits each; my grades are almost perfect, i'm not bitching about that). But now in order to keep up with having shiny grades and make the Dean's or President's list each semester, I need to get an override for the summer (instead of 9 credit hours for half a summer, which is considered hardcore, i'd be taking 11 or 12 ... EXTREMELY HARDCORE) and that means in the fall i'd be taking 18 or 19. But then i'd be done. And at UCF? Probably not, because my dad really doesn't want to send me in the spring. So i'd be working Spring-Summer, and then hop up there in the fall. IT MAKES MY HEAD HURT.

And now, I am late for school, because my father over meditated.

Probably a better update later this week, most likely Wednesday.

Schoolin' Take 2

2008-01-09T03:45:22Z

Now that I've met all my professors ...

SYG 2000: He's an elderly man, and its at the point where he's old enough to be adorable. It looks like an easy A, since he's given three chances off the bat for extra credit ... so that's sort of depressing.
GLY 1010: Scatterbrained, and loves rocks. Hopefully we can play around with Labradorite since it's so damn purdy.
ENC 1101: She makes fun of us and then smiles, so ... it's one of those. Homework due almost everyday. But yeah, I think it'll be fun.
STA 2023: Bad news, I have to track down a TI-83 tomorrow, but IT'S FREE ... same grading scale as my last math class.
ART 2750-C: I hate pinching, if I can't figure out the hell to make the clay my friend by Thursday, I may just drop it. Dammit. But Skippy is in class with me, which is nice. But the CLAAAAYYY.
GLY 1010-L: I haven't had it yet, but it's the same scatterbrained professor. Yes.

ugh, surgery

2007-12-18T16:20:49Z

This is exactly what i wroteb in my faceboiok, since it took me forever to write it out, I don't even care about the typos at this point, I need ice.

Mmk, so ... I went into the surgery yesterday at 9:30, they gave me oxygen, and then I woke up freaking out because my throat hurt like a mother. For the anesthesia, they stuck a tube down my right nostril and then my throat. My throat is really swollen, and they gave me a steroid to help bring it down.

I've got two sutures on both sides of my face (they had expected to do 3), and I threw up blood yesterday. I'm not too badly swollen, they say that'll change tomorrow. Pain isn't too bad. Double vision.

Uhm ... i'm still kinda of messed up from the morphine ... so i'm going to sleep.

Oh, liquid diet for the next 6 months. And today is my eleven month anniversary.

brightnight @ 2007-12-16T20:02:00

2007-12-17T01:05:13Z

Tomorrow:
The surgery is at 9:00 am.
They want me at the hospital by 7:00 for prep and all that jazz.
The hospital? It's in Miami. That takes about an hour.

So that's my update, since I won't be awake enough to update tomorrow.

Semester Grades

2007-12-15T13:55:24Z

BSC1005: A
MAC1105: B
POS2041: A
SPA1612: A
SPC1600: A

So ... uhh ... 3.81
I MADE THE DEANS LIST

I don't know who I was this semester, but I want it to continue.

brightnight @ 2007-10-15T08:44:00

2007-10-15T12:49:21Z

I am about to chew my arm clean off ... So, I happened to check my favorite author's website--and her next books come out sometime in 2008, and Spring of 2009 (this one is the second in a series, my life is over).

I am obsessive. That is all.

brightnight @ 2007-10-07T21:35:00

2007-10-08T01:46:59Z

Well, I went away for the weekend ... and we just got back, and Orrin was dead. I figured it would be ok because I left them both ample food and water. And uhm, he was alive yesterday. But not today. He wasn't even two years old.

Orrin was special because his paw was all bent out of shape and he kept getting hurt all the time and he was cute.

Post-Op #2

2007-09-21T23:05:29Z

In the car, I was finally informed of the risks, since my mom had just found the consent form:
- Temporary or permanent facial weakness
- Temporary or permanent numbness
- Severe bleeding
- Hearing loss (o.o)
- Scarring
- Worsening of the problem
- Infection
- Limited mouth opening/chewing function

· Well. My appointment was at 11:30, I got operated on at 3:30. Got home at 5:40.
· When I got in there, they were like, "HEY! Ready for your bilateral TMJ surgery?" And I blinked and said, "Well, i'm scheduled for an arthroscopy on my left jaw, so ... WHAT?"
· Dr. Kim quote, "Why do you NEVER have veins?!" *fifteen minutes later* "There it is."
· During the surgery, I was giggling because the sound of them taking a drill to my joint and it cracking beneath the pressure was funny. Dr. McCain was like, "Well, I'm glad you find this amusing."
· "Ok, close your mouth." ... "I can't all the way." ... "That's because there is a microscope in your jaw." ... "Oh. Cool."
· Apparently, they weren't expecting my jaw to be so bad. McCain and Kim were like, "Holy what the, she's eighteen, it should NOT be this deteriorated." They found it exceedingly difficult.
· Bilateral TMJ surgery? Such a definite for December. *does the joint replacement dance*
· My parents were laughing at me for a good 15 minutes because half of my face was frozen from the Novocaine, so it looked like I had suffered from a stroke. They hate me.
· Driving home, I felt water in my ear. Upon touching it with my fingers and inspecting it, I yelled "OH MY GOD THAT'S BLOOD."
· I'm to do 3 different jaw strengthening/stretching exercises, 4 times a day, each 20 times. One of them hurts enough to make me groan in pain.

Apart from all that jazz, I feel ok. Slight headache. Discomfort in my left ear, probably from the blood.